India Times

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Jinnah - The Indian connection
Jinnah- The Pak connection

Muhurtham
Metti Oli

Sania Swearing
Sania Playing

Watching Parineeta ,without understanding a word
Watching Anniyan digesting every word

Sensex at 7000
Temperature at 42 degrees

Back to school (Retail Promos)
Back to school (School Opens)

Waiting...

Nope , I am not referring to Ha Jin's book, but to the time spent by each of us waiting

7:00 am :Waiting for the milk to reach boiling point
7:30 am :Waiting for appa, to finish the Hindu supplement
8:30 :Waiting for 21 D
8:32 :Waiting for Chinnama to get down at adayar for the seat
9:00 :Waiting for Lift
9:10 :WaitingSystem to boot
9:30 :Waiting for Coffee machine to vend coffee
10:30 : Waiting for lunch time
2:30 : Waiting for 5:30

Monday ->Waiting for Friday
Friday -> Waiting for the new release
Sat -> Waiting for that invite
Sun -> Waiting for the grand lunch ...

If some one ever said, Life waits for none ... Should I go through my list again ??

Advantage Agassi

It was 8:00 pm , and the road side restaurant telly was playing the re run of the Wimbledon round 2. Much water had flown , ever since I started following tennis. As I followed the match sitting alone, mulling over a cup of tea the past seemed to recoil in front of me. ( Yeah too much of tamil movies , I actually saw Tortoise mosquito repellent recoiling).

June ,1992 : It was the men's singles final of Wimbledon- a Sunday. So the family had gathered under the roof to watch the nail biting finish. Center court matches were always exhausting, but this was a fight to tooth and nail. Andre Agassi Vs Goran Ivansevic

I had just finished explaining the concept of deuce and advantage to my mother who brought in a plate of "Steaming Onion Pakodas".

Score:

6-7, 6-4, 6-4, 1-6,

Final set 2-2

Game 30-40, Goran Serving.An ace, and the score moved up to Deuce.
English weather was at its June best and the American sweat down through his ponytail.

Another ace.

Agassi needed help in wiping the beads of water trickling down. He handed over the towel to the petite ball girl on base line. A lil to the left , he snickered showing his white left bag to the already pink amateur.

My mother after deliberation declared- " It is now advantage Goran , right ?? ?"
" No," replied my brother, without batting an eye lid.
" Why??" my mother went through right from love all to deuce and ace.
My brother's eye twinkled, " Amma, look at the screen, It is definitely Advantage Agassi!!!"

Needless to say , Agassi went on to win his first Grand slam and only Wimbledon. The score tallied at 6-7, 6-4, 6-4, 1-6, 6-4.

Wimbledon 1992- truly advantage Agassi.

With love from New york...

He is the lord of healing all troubles. An intriguing combination of human and pachyderm forms
Vinayaga alias Pulliyar alias Ganesha.

Right from every door step to hill tops , he adornes every hindu household and temple alike. Known by various names depending on his core competencies
- Varasidhi, Vidya Ganapathi, Valampuri, Selvaganapathy.

Based on his geographic location
Pulliarpatti, to Malaikottai in Trichy and he is not a South Indian phenomenon alone.

Ganapathiphule, in West India attracts more tourists for the god with the little tummy than for its virgin beaches.

But what I got to see at ArupadaiVeedu, Chennai was something I had never expected.
New york - Manhattan Varasiddi Pullayar.

History has it, that the temple construction was stalled for want of funds. (Indians in India had too many temples to donate to ) Thats when a summer visitor from New york stepped in with $ donations , and the rest as they say is history.

So New york Manhattan Varasiddi Pullayar, sits surrounded by his family

Subramanya in Tiruchendur( a sea shore temple in Tamil Nadu)
Parents Shiva and Parvathi in Kailasam, Himalayas
Uncle and Aunt Narayana, Lakshmi in Tirupathi, Andhra Pradesh.

If Santa wanted to see divine globalisation, he should visit Aru padai Veedu near Ashtalakhmi Temple, Besant Nagar ,Chennai 90 (facing the Bay of Bengal).

If you visit chennai, please do make a trip to this temple.

Gals, boys, blogs and profiles

It gets murkier by the minute. The world of E- dating , e-matching, e-marriage fixing !!!

You can express interest for free,
350 bucks for a telephone number listing
750 bucks to communicate to a prospect

what next ?? The business manager of a popular "a mate" fixing site tells me

Rs. 1250 for listing your blogs on the site !!!

Why ?? Blogs are more representative of what the person feels , but fails to express. They are also a whole lot interactive.

Ok so is this only for the skilled in writing !!

No you would also have the services of a blog master , who would help you create one !! that comes at an extra cost .

My mind screamed GOSH PLEASE DONT KILL BLOGS!!!
On second thoughts do i have a career opportunity there ??

Imagine a brief like this ,

I am a 35 year old , bachelor, working in a top rated software firm as a lead programmer. I don t read much , only watch "MOVIES" want a wife who would be home loving, beautiful, career focussed, dynamic, should cook well.. Please write a blog for me , which would appeal to such women.

So much so for blogging in the next gen !!!

Hey I told my friend I guess the free spirit of blogging and anonymity it provides is lost if ppl start fishing for spouses in them.

So what, Its just like chatting or mailing or even say have a pen pal?
argued my business manager friend..

Do you blog I asked him , NO.

So he would nt really understand.

TAGGED !!! ...FINALLY !!!

The last movie I borrowed: As good as it gets...

The last film I watched in the theatre: HITCH !!

Which five fictional characters in Hollywood have you had a crush on, in pecking order?

Tom Hanks ...u ve got mail
Harry in harry met sally
Karthik in Flavors (its ... a crossover ..so cd feature elsewhere too)
Clint Eastwood - Bridges of madison..
Hugh grant Nottinghill - Wow would love to date a book store man!!

Which five fictional characters in B/Kollywood have you had a crush on?
Madhavan -Alaipayuthe
A'swamy -Roja (WHO WOULDNTT)
Nagarjun-Idhaythai Thirudathe
Aamir-QSAT
Saif- Hum Tum

Five Hollywood films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:
I might not have five I dont watch much of em

Bridges of Madison ...
U ve got mail
Forrest Gump


Five K/Bollywood films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:

Mouna Ragam
Server Sundaram
DIl chahta hai


Five H/B/Kollywood people I'm supposed to be impressed by, but am not:

Ash definitely
Brad Pitt
Tom Cruise
Pierce Brosnan


mm now for tagging !!!!

All those who have not yet started blogging ... start by thinking, listing Ensoy !!!

TAGGED ... mhmmhmm

Ok .. no one tagged me.. but I thought it was a good way to start spring cleaning my bookshelf.. so here it goes

No of books : 253

The TOP 5 :

RK Narayan
Phantoms of the brain -V.Ramachandran
Bridges of Madison County
clive Avenue- T.S Tirumurthi

and ofcourse my favbourite .... Calvin and hobbes series...

Currently reading
Pour your heart into it - Story of Starbucks

Jus finished
Pundits from Pakistan .. all u cricket lovers and lovers of Sunny days by sunny .. read this

Would never pick up another : .. well cannot say that each story is a diff one !!

Gifted : Gee... not many .. but last was Nagamandala by Girish karnad (tut tut .. written not gifted by him..)

A loner on my shelf : Douglas Adams ... Liked the book , but never got to reading the series

Often refer to: Bridges of Madison... Has a new line everytime I read it, and is the best medicine for a rainy day/night !!!

Hobby reads:Ganamrutha Varna malika ... havent gone beyond Sree ragam as yet

For the sake of a job: Death of salesman

Currently Eyeing: The new grisham book .. wanna read something crimey now !!

Am I Giving any gift hints ???

A bundle of Contradictions

I dont wanna work I want 4.00 lacs p.a take home

I dont wanna attend meetings I want to be invited to every damn discussion

I dont want a relationship May be I want.....

I want to work with kids That doesnt give me Point 1 or 3

Iwant to travel I dont want to meet any more dealers

I dont want my blog to be a diary Hello, look at what i have been writing

I believe in self help GOD SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Santa and globalisation...(Contd)

Santhanam walked his cycle home. The minutes of the meeting didn't make much sense to him. All he understood was on May 1st Japanese best practices shall be implemented in all functions right from the peon ( that was him) to the CEO.

Pankajam came out to greet him. A friday , and no flowers ? Something was terribly wrong she thought to herself.

" What happened ? Some problem at office? " , She enquired as Santhanam chained the cycle to the tree.

It was always a comforting sight to see Pankajam at the end of a long tiring day. But today , something else tugged at his heart.

"Nothing, it looks like I might not be in employment for long."
"WHAT ?? Why ?? What happened? "
" They have sold half the company to the Japanese." and he went on to say the rest of what he had heard from office.

"But they have not said you will be laid off. and one half is still Iyengar's . You can be with them. Why do you worry?"
"Podi, you don't understand. Japanese are cost conscious and so are the Iyengars. Now both would rather walk 2 flights up to a record room , than call Santhanam .. Santa !!! Let me atleast have dinner now. I dont want to talk about this furthur. Atleast in front of Sridhar. "

They had a quiet dinner. Sridhar could not understand what was wrong. He had won the vocabulary contest and no one seemed to notice.

May saw the onslaught of the Sun in chennai, and Japanese invasion in office. Those tiny little men seemed to be too fast. Things changed visibily. The canteen was first renovated. Tables were removed, and only chairs were placed. Food was to be served on your own.

Sella, Vishwam, Dhandapani left because of no work. They joined a Marriage catering service. Santhanam kept in touch with them.

New machines were placed on the table, and old clattering typewriters were relegated to the 6th floor lunch room as display pieces.

Sugantha, the typist applied for VRS.

Santhanam walked around the diminishing crowd with fear. He was still there , but everyday was a traumatic experience. There was no one to talk to. The chitter chatter was gone. Coffee machines were abandoned. Venkatachalapathy was replaced by a long shot of the plant , and a painting of a bearded man. Thats when he got the pink slip.

Santhanam read and re read the notice again. Should he or Should he not ?

5:30pm. He stepped into the local party office for a meeting on globalisation. He understood that Indians didnt need them to teach what we wanted , He laughed at the cartoons of the firangs on the screen. He felt as enthused as his father had when Gandhi called for Quit India. He knew this was not a fight but a war.

He enrolled for the agitation . He had borne the brunt of the changes for the last 6 years and he could not take it any longer. He had a job , but no dignity. He wanted that, and he would fight it out.He went home with the leaflet and a determined soul.

Sridhar was unusually late. He was generally home by , 6:30 and the clock had just announced 8:00 pm. Pankajam was getting worried.

This boy was a mystery to her. Reading late into the night. Talking all absurd theorems. He had breezed through college and was now an engineer trainee in an Indian company."

It was 9:00 pm. The door rattled Thud Thud Thud...
"Appa, amma Open the door."
" Sridhar, why are you so late ? You could have informed us."
"Appa, you won't believe , My company is sending me for training to Japan. I have a VISA interview next monday- April the 15th !!"
" I hope I crack it, It is like never before. I am one among 10 in the company. I believe Japanese are good at engineering. There will be lots to learn there , unlike here !!! Oyasuminasai " laughed Sridhar.

Santa looked at the pink slip again.

"Come and join the Swadesi movement. Be Indian , Buy Indian."

Venue : Gandhi Statue , Marina
Time : 10:30 am
Date: April 15th , Monday.

Santa and globalisation...

9:00 am, the stamping started. Thud Thud Thud... Blue circles around the wrinkled corners meant a job well begun. Well that was how Santhanam started his day , every day for the last 24 years.

Santhanam was the office peon. In hey days of babu culture he had joined the Iyengar company as a CLASS D helper. Thiruvengadam, the GM's driver had helped him find the job. Rs. 75 pm/- Lunch in services canteen, Uniform washing allowance of Rs.2 a month - The letter had read.

There was joy all around the house at his appointment. He joined on 15th April,1968.Dressed in a crisp khaki uniform, a cap and a badge , he looked more like a sepoy than a peon. The only thing that bothered him were the boots.His legs wriggled to come out of the confines of the black shoe.

But he would soon get used to it.

"Santhanam, bring the blue files here."
"Santhanam , Coffee for the meeting room"
"Santhanam , Post."
"Santhanam , Saridon"

It was a busy day at work. It took less than a month to learn that GM, added lemon to his tea. DGM had coffee with 2 tbs of sugar, Ratna madam sent a post on every monday to Tirunelveli. Santhanam settled and dusted old files with vigour.

5 years down the line,he wedded the beautiful Pankajam. The company gave the couple a Kodam . His loyalties to the master increased.He shifted to a mansion in Triplicane,closer to office.

June 7th , 1979 , after nearly 6 years Pankajam gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Santhanam made a trip to Tirupathi on foot .The couple named the baby Sridhar.

It was the also the day, the company recruited the first batch of " Management graduates". He was told they were from a place near Bombay, Well educated, non Iyengars . He watched them from a distance, a couple of fair, handsome looking chaps who everyone stood up to greet.

Today, April 15th,1992. Santhanam was distributing a circular to everyone in office.
There were hushed whispers and tension hung in the air.The group head had called for a meeting in the conference room. This was unlike usual. Group head never met everyone on the same day.

Last Feb, Ashwin from Exports had been made as the group head. Santhanam remembered him as one of the fair boys who had joined from Mumbai. He had really liked him a lot and true to the judgement , Ashwin had grown really fast in the company. He moved to a seperate cubicle in less than 1 year and now a group head in less than 15 years.

"Dear Colleagues, There are enough rumours in the office about a lot of things, So I decided to make an internal announcement before we go to press. We are going for a 50-50 Joint venture with a Japanese organisation. That means we are no longer an Iyengar firm , We are getting global."

Pain welled up in Santa's abdomen. Will he be asked to leave. He should have completed matric, now there was no time. His thoughts were interuppted by a booming voice

"Santa, adjust this mike please. Santa , Santa , Santhanam".

"Santa ??? Wow, Ashwin we really are a global company now" - Laughed Rangan Sir.

Santhanam , thought to himself while adjusting the mike. I promise to make 101 revolutions of Kesava perumal, if they make me stay here. Please please please.

-To be continued-

Read on...

This post comes in mail from one of my readers ... Jus go thru it. Hmmm , I have not yet recruited anyone to write for the blog, but freelancing is welcome.


Hindustan Lever – The Brand Murderer

The Levers’ office at Backbay reclamation in Mumbai has of late started resembling the concentration camps at Auschwitz. The only difference is that instead of Jews , the brands of the company are being systematically tortured and slaughtered.

Experimenting with the ‘Fair & Lovely’:- Initially it were the variants –dry skin, oily skin varieties in order to expand the user profile. But when this branched out into Ayurvedic Fair & Lovely with three variants the company walked into a self- destructive cycle. Any Brand manager would tell you that you cannot expand a brand into territories where its existence is questionable.’Fair & Lovely’ has everything to do with cosmetics , with getting fair , with a subtle western colour superiority and very little to do with Indian ayurveda. Yet, the Company went ahead with this execution which must have been carefully sculpted in power point presentations made by a new MBA who wanted to prove his mettle- the logic must have been generating more profits out of a brand (profit centre) .

Killing ‘Hamam’ Soap :- Hamam is a soap which would have sold by itself ;without any
advertisement , without any sales promotion. That’s because of the mass appeal of the brand and the variety of audience which identifies itself with this soap. It can be called as one of the first unisex product in India and has dominated for ages as the complete family soap. So much so that someone at Levers’ asked ‘If this soap sells by itself , what are we here for ?’.That started an entire repositioning of the brand –new packaging , new shape .To add to this disaster Hamam was enriched with extracts from neem , tulasi and aloe vera : come on guys you left out a lot of other fancy Indian cliches like badam , pista , sandal as well and give a soap which not even God can fathom !The guy who would have created this brand way back when it belonge dto TOMCO would be turning in his grave.

Taking the Life out of ‘Lifebuoy’ :- I cringe to think what Lifebuoy used to be and what it has been turned into. It was a Macho Soap – Larger than Life . Bathing in it represented eternal cleansing and the soap never looked like it shall get over. It was the sort of soap which men after driving in a truck over days would use to purify themselves from the dirt of the highways.I would like to meet the guy in Levers who suggested that this soap be diversified to cater to the needs of young female audience as a health soap- I would ask him one question ‘ Would you ask Harley Davidson to make an underpowered Luna moped and sell it as Little Boy ?’

Where is ‘Vim’ ? :- In a crazy exercise called Power Brands our chaps at Backbay destroyed some of their best niche brands. One such brand is Vim. This had immense brand recognition among housewives and was a useful Kitchen powder / soap for cleaning utensils. This brand had the power to be extended into a variety of kitchen and household products but it is being starved to death as the Company is more interested in selling products to villagers through internet kiosks.

‘Taj Mahal’ Disappears :- Why doesn’t ‘Taj Mahal’ Tea feature in the power brands category ? I hope it is not because Govt has asked Hindustan Lever to pay a royalty to use the Taj name or may be it’s the Tata group. Nevertheless , I drink this tea and wonder why the company is so stingy not to put their money behind such a wonderful product. The ad strategy with Ustad Zakir Hussain was one of the best and sucha unique brand does not deserve to be benched.

The stupid ‘Pepsodent’ ads : If children ever watched Pepsodent ads they would wonder how can somebody consider them to be so stupid ? The latest ad tells that Pepsodent fights ghosts in the night . Come on guys – grow up !No wonder Colgate is maintaining to its lead in the toothpaste segment irrespective of Pepsodent being certified by all the dentists ever born on this planet.

Packaging ‘Kissan’ : Walk into a aupermarket and try to pick up a Kissan product and you would understand how uninspiring the packaging looks. Kissan fruit squash looks worser than a mineral water bottle. Kissan Jam comes in an opaque green plastic box which proudly announces that its vitamin-enriched. And to add to it you have a tag –Annapurna behind the Kissan name which makes you wonder if Annapurna Salt or wheat comes free with this.

If HLL wanted power brands then why choose 35 . Three plus Five is equal to Eight which is the unluckiest number in the world. Even now if you think that luck is on HLL’s side then please read their slogans for miscellaneous brands :-

Lifebuoy – Making a Billion Indians Safe and Secure ( What ??????)

Breeze – Scent in Soap (As if we did not know ?)

Rin – Power of Dazzling Whiteness ( Okay !)

Fair & Lovely – Making Complexion Fairer ( And what else ?)

Red Label Tea – Cheers your senses ( I see!)

Bru – Happiness Begins with it ( And where does it end ?)

Ayush – Truth of Ayurveda , Proof of science ( This is too good !)

Hamam – Everything in life is about a balance ( Sounds like yoga classes !)

I would request all the readers to do what they can to save the brands of HLL and other companies using similar strategies at least for old times sake .These may be profit centres for them but they also are part of our childhood memories and they cannot do whatever they want with it.

P.S. I risk my job , incase my boss's boss 's boss decides to read and comment on this. He is an Ex HLL , with a loyalty as string as BRU COFFEEE

Amen !!!!

Opportunities Galore !!!

Movie Reviewer

KRAs: Watch a minimum of 3 new releases week. Release stories on popular movie facts and history. Area of work to include English, Hindi and one regional language.

Candidate must necessarily be over 18 years of age.

Headlines today
KRAs: To conjure up 5 headlines, 2 for the front page, 2 for the sports and 1 for the supplement. Headlines will be judged for crativity, brevity and relevance.

Chat away
Webmaster in popular chat side, to constantly review chat sessions for misuse and report to development. KRAs : To chat for 8 hrs a day , 4 hrs as invisible and 4 hrs as available.

Saturday Night Show

Rags looked at his watch dial for the umpteenth time. It was almost 3:00 pm. He hit the accelerator , and veered towards Lifestyle. Vats, would be waiting for him. It was a long over due date. Work had taken most of his time , but this Saturday it would be Vats , in the stunning floral print. He wrapped the dress in his hands and a smile curved his lips.

"Have a great weekend ,Sir"- smiled the girl at the cash counter handing him the blue bag.

Trrrring.

"Aha, you are just in time. I had almost decided that you had given the day a slip."

" No way da. How can I forget ? See I even got you something. Gimme a minute I will change into something decent."

"Me too.."

"Hey gorgeous in georgette , can we leave ??? "

" Are you sure ?? It is actually embarrasing , especially in this ."-Vats looked down at the folds of her saree.

"Just come along, you look ravishing. I will have a tough time controlling the crowds"

Satyam was as crowded as it could get. As Rags guarded his wife into the hall, a familiar voice cried out

"Hey appa!! You ?? Here??"-That was Shanks , his first born with wife and kid.

"What pa, silent date ah ? Which movie ?"

" Kathalikka neram illai - That was first the movie I took Amma to after marriage, Yeah then it was in Nagesh theatre. Now thanks to Satyam's Unwind to 60's mela I am taking her again .. Seeya Shyam tomorrow at home."

Raghavan and Vatsala , walked hand in hand into the hall. A quiet dinner at Drive in would complete the date. But for now, it was a trip 40 years into a world of togetherness.

"Kathalikka neram illai??? " - Who ever said so ?

LTA ??? Laka Laka !!!

The schools have reopened, and the trains are empty. It is time to start exploring your surroundings. Yepp, it is a great season to plan a holiday and if planning is half as much fun as enjoying one, I am half way through.

With less than normal monsoon predicted it ain't going to be pouring and you will leave your skin with a light golden tan.From shores, to the mountain heights, adventure to pilgrimage - it is time you started on a trip. Some basics first:

1. Take your pick , and visit some sites . These are the days not of brochures but links and mail ids.

2. Avoid crowded locations , move away from din and regular tourist traffic.
Look for locales which would be one helluva eye opener !!

3. Stop reading this blog and Get moving , Ideation takes a day and moving your butt takes a year .. so get the momentum going. You wanna a break ?? Apply for one today.

Some websites to throw some light !!

http://www.asiasafari.com/camping/
http://www.junglelodges.com/
http://www.himalayanvillage.com
http://www.vythiriresort.com/
http://www.maharashtratourism.gov.in/mtdc/Beaches.aspx?strpage=beaches-Shriwardhan-Harihareshwar.html

For more on resorts and places visit

http://www.indiaresortssurvey.com/

HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!!

Am- Bushed !!

When PresidentBush met with Palestinian President Abbas, there was one embarrassing moment when Bush was overhead whispering to Abbas

" Hey I love that Dancing Queen number of yours.. !!!"

Where are you ???

"Chennai is a city of mamis, dhoti clad uncles, young men still sporting Tshirts with terry-cot pants and girls who have not graduated out of salwars." -Spake a colleague of mine in Delhi.

Hey hey hey , wait a sec you want to see the real Mad-Ras? Walk out at 9:00 pm to one of the Lounge bars/ Eco hotels/ Drinking holes/ Dance clubs .. .you would wonder where do these birds stay around the day.

A whole new landscape emerges of hookah gurgling women, and funky hair do s on Men. 3 year olds enjoying rock, and retired men on the rocks !!!

Check it out !! next time around you are in chennai , think again before heading for Satyam .. there are better places and you won't be disappointed.

ITS definitely HOT MACHI !!!!!!!!!!!!